11 ways we hurt our romantic relationships (Must See)

  It’s not easy to have a great relationship with your boy/girlfriend, partner, or spouse. But it’s not impossible, either — it takes some work, of course, but it’s good work, work that’s a joy when everything comes together.

A lot of times, though, the work isn’t enough. We get in our own way with ideas and attitudes about relationships that are not only wrong, but often work to undermine our relationships no matter how hard we work at it.

I’ve watched a lot of breakups (some of them my own). I’ve seen dramatic flare-ups and drawn-out slow fades, and I’ve tried to pay attention to what seems to be going on. Here are a few of the things I’ve seen that cause people to destroy their own relationships.

1. You’re playing to win

One of the deadliest killers of relationships is the competitive urge. I don’t mean competition in the sense that you can’t stand to lose at tennis, I mean the attitude that the relationship itself is a kind of game that you’re tying to win. People in competitive relationships are always looking for an advantage, the upper hand, some edge they can hold over their partner’s head. If you feel that there are things you can’t tell your partner because she or he will use it against you, you’re in a competitive relationship — but not for long.

2. You don’t trust

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won’t cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won’t leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say. The second that level of trust is gone, whether because one of you takes advantage of that trust and does something horrible or because one of you thinks the other has, the relationship is over — even if it takes 10 more years for you to break up.

3. You don’t talk

Too many people hold their tongues about things that bother or upset them in their relationship, either because they don’t want to hurt their partner, or because they’re trying to win. (See #1 above; example: “If you don’t know why I am mad, I am certainly not going to tell you!”) While this might make things easier in the short term, in the long run it gradually erodes the foundation of the relationship away. Little issues grow into bigger and bigger problems — problems that don’t get fixed because your partner is blissfully unaware, or worse, is totally aware of them but thinks they don’t really bother you. Ultimately, keeping quiet reflects a lack of trust — and, as I said that’s the death of a relationship.

4. You don’t listen

Listening — really listening — is hard. It’s normal to want to defend ourselves when we hear something that seems like criticism, so instead of really hearing someone out, we interrupt to explain or excuse ourselves, or we turn inward to prepare our defense. But your partner deserves your active listening. S/he even deserves you to hear the between-the-lines content of daily chit-chat, to suss out his/her dreams and desires when even s/he doesn’t even know exactly what they are. If you can’t listen that way, at least to the person you love, there’s a problem.

5. You spend like a single person

This was a hard lesson for me to learn — until it broke up a 3-year relationship. When you’re single, you can buy whatever you want, whenever you want, with little regard for the future. It’s not necessarily wise, but you’re the only one who has to pay the consequences. When you are with someone in a long-term relationship, that is no longer a possibility. Your partner — and your children, if there are or will be any — will have to bear the brunt of your spending, so you’d better get in the habit of taking care of household necessities first and then, if there’s anything left over, of discussing with your partner the best way to use it.

This is an increasing problem these days, because more and more people are opting to keep their finances separate, even when they’re married. There’s nothing wrong with that kind of arrangement in and of itself, but it demands more communication and involvement between the partners, not less. If you’re spending money as if it was your money and nobody else has a right to tell you what to do with it, your relationship is doomed.

6. You’re afraid of breaking up

Nobody in a truly happy partnership is afraid of breaking up. If you are, that’s a big warning sign that something’s wrong. But often, what’s wrong is the fear itself. Not only does it betray a lack of trust, but it shows a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem — you’re afraid that there’s no good reason for someone to want to be with you, and that sooner or later your partner will “wise up” and take off. So you pour more energy into keeping up the appearance of a happy relationships than you do into building yourself up as a person. Quite frankly, this isn’t going to be very satisfying for you, and it also isn’t going to be very satisfying for your partner.

7. You’re dependent

There’s a thin line between companionship and support and dependency. If you depend on your partner — that is, if you absolutely cannot live without her or him — you’ve crossed that line. The pressure is now on your partner to fill whatever’s missing in you — a pressure s/he will learn to resent. If you expect your partner to bring everything while you bring nothing to your relationship — and I’m talking finances as well as emotional support, here — you’re in trouble. (Note: I’m not saying that you need to contribute equally to household finances — what I’m saying is that if you’re not contributing to the household budget, and you’re not contributing anywhere else, things are out of whack and that’s never good.)

8. You expect happiness

A sign of a bad relationship is that one or both partners expect either to make the other happy or for their partner to make them happy. This is not only an unrealistic expectation to lay on yourself or on them — nobody can “make” you happy, except you — but it’s an unrealistic expectation to lay on your relationship. Relationships aren’t only about being happy, and there’s lots of times when you won’t and even shouldn’t be. Being able to rely on someone even when you’re upset, miserable, depressed, or grieving is a lot more important than being happy all the time. If you expect your partner to make you happy or worse, you’re frustrated because you aren’t able to make your partner happy — your relationship isn’t going to fare well when it hits a rough spot.

9. You never fight

A good argument is essential, every now and then. In part, arguing helps bring out the little stuff before it becomes major, but also, fighting expresses anger which is a perfectly normal part of a human’s emotional make-up. Your relationship has to be strong enough to hold all of who you are, not just the sunny stuff.

One reason couples don’t fight is that they fear conflict — which reflects a lack of trust and a foundation of fear. That’s bad. Another reason couples avoid arguments is that they’ve learned that anger is unreasonable and unproductive. They’ve learned that arguing represents a breakdown rather than a natural part of a relationship’s development. While an argument isn’t pleasant, it can help both partners to articulate issues they may not have even known they had — and help keep them from simmering until you cross a line you can’t come back from.

10. You expect it to be easy/you expect it to be hard

There are two deeply problematic attitudes about relationships I hear often. One is that a relationship should be easy, that if you really love each other and are meant to be together, it will work itself out. The other is that anything worth having is going to be hard — and that therefore if it’s hard, it must be worth having.

The outcome of both views is that you don’t work at your relationship. You don’t work because it’s supposed to be easy and therefore not need any work, or you don’t work because it’s supposed to be hard and it wouldn’t be hard if you worked at it. In both cases, you quickly get burnt out — either because the problems you’re ignoring really don’t go away just because you think they should. or because the problems you’re cultivating are a constant drag on your energy. A relationship that’s too much work might be suffering from one of the attitudes above, but a relationship that doesn’t seem to need any work isn’t any better.

11. Your choices

There isn’t any one answer to any of the problems above. There are choices though: you can either seek out an answer, something that addresses why you are hurting your relationship, or you can resign yourself to the failure of your relationship (and maybe the next one, and the next one, and…). Failure doesn’t always mean you break up — many people aren’t that lucky. But people can live quite unhappily in failed relationships for years and even decades because they’re afraid they won’t find anything better, or worse, they’re afraid they deserve it. Don’t you be one of them — if you suffer from any of these problems, figure out how to fix it, whether that means therapy, a solo mountain retreat, or just talking to your partner and committing yourselves to change.

How to know your co-worker is secretly & madly in love with you but too shy to let you know

    People fall in love any time, any day, anywhere and its allowed. Some people find it too difficult to let out their feelings because of shyness. Trying to determine if a co-worker likes you or not can be confusing if not frustrating. So here are some ways to find out.

 Finding reasons to be near you.

If she, or he, is constantly at your desk and seeking you out discreetly, it’s a guarantee that the person likes you. Finding any reason to have contact with you is an obvious sign of affection or admiration.

Hinged on your every word.

Does the person listen intuitively to you? If he or she is hinging on your words, agreeing with your ideas. it’s a sure bet they have deeper feelings than co-worker simply conversing.

Watch for change in behaviour or voice tone.

Normal interaction with other co-workers may not match how that person interacts with you. Is the person louder and more socially aggressive with other office personnel? But tones down the behaviour when you’re near? This change can indicate a good possibly that this co-worker secretively likes you. Softer voices are signs of intimacy.

Be alert to body language.

Leaning into you as if to hear you better or the slightest arm touch can both be signs that a co-worker secretly likes you. Watch how the co-worker intermingles with others and then see how he or she connects with you. If the person leans into you while talking, the closeness will be noticed.

Direct eye contact and long gazes.

Long held eye contact is a sure sign that your co-worker secretly likes you. The person may not be able to put their feelings into words so they rely on subtle hints of longing looks. The looks can also be quick and barely noticed so pay attention.

Pay attention to the little things.

Not the balloons or flowers for your birthday but the little notes being left for you.

Bringing you coffee/tea just the way you like it.

Making sure all your messages are hand delivered.

Watch for these little signs.

Purposely being called out.

If that co-worker constantly calls upon you, but you know he or she knows the answer, may be a clear sign that they have a secret crush on you. Allegedly needed to have you back up their thoughts is how they may mask the reassurance but in reality it’s the closeness to you they’re seeking.

Talking and sharing life outside.

Talking, texting and visiting outside the office is another guarantee a co-worker secretly likes you. When you start sharing life’s little moments and look forward to the connection, you have someone with a secret crush on you.

First to arrive and last to leave.

Watch the schedule of this person. If they arrive early like you or leave later than the other co-workers, this could be a sign they want to be alone with you and are intimidated to tell you they have a secret crush on you.

Partaking in silly little games.

Has this person given you a silly little nickname? Or is he or she flinging rubber bands at you? Any child-like behaviour comes through as a young person’s crush.

#These twelve signs are all ways to tell if a co-worker secretly likes you. You can add yours.

25 diseases and medical conditions that can be cured by simply having sex

–Sex often leads to deadly diseases and subsequent death if done wrongly. However, when a faithful couple engages in sex at the right time, in the right way, it is said to be a remedy for curing lot’s of diseases and medical conditions.

Below are 25 known medical conditions researchers, doctors and scientists have discovered that sex can easily get rid of:

1. Depression:
Without the help of researchers, just about anyone can agree that sex will make you feel good about yourself and just a bit more confident. But one researcher has said there’s a scientific explanation that goes a bit farther. Professor Gordon Gallop says that there’s an unknown chemical in semen that has an antidepressant effect on women.

2. Pregnancy:
Sex is both the cause and the cure for pregnancy. Women who are ready to induce labour often have sex to speed up the process, and research backs up this method. Semen contains prostaglandins, which help the cervix prepare to open and orgasms produce oxytocin, which will help cause contractions.

3. Headaches:
Although sex can sometimes bring on a headache, it can cure them too. The tension release your body experiences during and after sex can ease restricted blood vessels in the brain.

4. Menstrual cramps:

Sex acts as an analgesic to relieve menstrual pain, primarily because of the relaxation and endorphins sex brings.

5. Arthritis:
In his book, “How to Treat Arthritis with Sex and Alcohol,” rheumatologist Carter V. Multz asserts that sex, as well as alcohol and other complementary treatments, can reduce pain, swelling, and inflammation associated with arthritis.

6. Common cold:
Manfred Schedlovski, a Swiss researcher from Zurich, asserts that sex has a positive effect on phagocytes, which are a part of the immune system that goes after alien bodies, like cold germs, and kills them. Phagocytes are increased significantly during sex and will often double after orgasm.

7. Stress:

Orgasms offer a great way to relax, and even non orgasmic sex offers some relief. Dr. Joshua Golden asserts sex’s relaxation properties, as well as emotional benefits.

8. Tooth decay:

Kissing, as well as oral sex, encourages saliva production. This increase in saliva helps to wash food particles from your teeth, prevents plaque build-up and helps lower decay-causing acid. Additionally, seminal plasma has been shown to help prevent tooth decay.

9. Erectile dysfunction:
By exercising your Kegel muscles with frequent sex and delaying ejaculation, men can help strengthen muscles enough to help with minor erection problems.

10. High blood pressure:

Semen has been found to lower blood pressure in women. Specifically, swallowing semen can help ward off pre-pre-eclampsia, which is a dangerously high blood pressure that sometimes occurs during pregnancy.

11. Insomnia:
Many people find that the relaxation they experience after sex helps them go to sleep.

12. Prostate cancer:
Men who ejaculate more frequently have been found to be at a lower risk of developing prostate cancer.

13. Hangovers:
Sex may not save your liver, but it will help you shake off a funk. Having sex will help boost your endorphins and oxytocins, which stimulate muscle contraction and help you avoid aggressiveness.

14. Toxic system:
Sex gets your blood pumping faster, which helps to rid the body of waste.

15. Heart disease:
Studies have shown that if men have sex twice a week or more, they tend to have a lower risk of heart attack. For women, increased levels of estrogen caused by sex help to protect against heart disease.

16. Stubborn wounds:
Studies have found that oxytocin, which is released during sex, can help wounds heal faster.

17. Low energy:
Sex increases energy through exercise and emotional well-being.

18. Minor cognitive problems: 
Whenever you become sexually excited or have an orgasm, the hormone DHEA is released. DHEA has been found to improve cognition.

19. Skin irritations:
The sweat released during sex will cleanse your pores, helping to relieve rashes, blemishes, and other skin problems.

20. Pain:
Orgasm releases endorphins, which will alleviate pain for just about everything.

21. Obesity:
Although few doctors are likely to prescribe a sex diet, the fact is that sex is a form of exercise. Performing the act of sex requires physical activity that will burn calories and strengthen your heart. It’s a special great exercise for those who have little motivation to get to the gym.

22. Incontinence:
Every time you have sex, you’re exercising your Kegel muscles, which are the same ones you use to stem the flow of urine.

23. Weak bones and muscles: 
Sex brings on a boost of testosterone, which helps to make your bones and muscles strong.

24. Semen allergy:
Unfortunately, some women are allergic to their partner’s semen. However, along with other treatments, frequent sex has been found to work as an effective desensitization therapy for this allergy.

25. Death:
That’s right, sex can help ward off death for men. Professor Stuart Brody reports that men who orgasm twice a week are half as likely to die as those who only orgasm once a month.

Now go and have lots of sex to stay healthy!!

The best way to get rid of vaginal odor, smell and taste

      We think a lot about sex and those awkward things about it. One of those things is our smell (and taste) down there. The smell of fish would be very embarrassing – but how do you keep your vagina smelling like a field of lavender? This is how.
Did you ever notice how the things we think about most are the things we talk about least? The reason is that not a lot of our thoughts are not really lunch-appropriate. Still, I can bet my life that every woman has wondered about how she smells down there in general and compared to other women.

This is especially true if you yourself smell something funky coming from down there. Depending on how strongly you can smell it, it may even seem to you like other people can too, even though this is rarely the case. However, any type of smell that is just off is a sure clue for you to take notice and check it out. Whatever the reason may be for your intimate troubles here’s advice on how to get rid of vaginal odour as well as how to smell and taste great down there:

Visit Your Gynaecologist Regularly

It is not something you love hearing – all of us wish an article could replace doctors, but sadly it’s not the case. If you feel an ugly smell down there, you might have an infection or a VD. No one wants that – but you have to make sure you don’t have it. Most of them are easily treatable, so you don’t have to get very stressed. Even if your smell is OK, a visit to the gynaecologist is in order – at least every six months.

Take Care of Your Hygiene

By hygiene, we don’t mean “take regular showers” – you already know that. But intimate hygiene is a bit different. Your vagina is the most sensitive part of your body and you shouldn’t wash it with regular soap. Buy a special intimate wash with neutral Ph value – 5.5.

Wash with intimate wash at least once a day. When you have your period, make sure you change your pads or tampons regularly.

Underwear

If you have a sensitive vagina, avoid underwear that isn’t made of cotton. Cotton is the fabrique that irritates the skin least. Use your lacy, sexy underwear in special occasions only. Also, cotton doesn’t mean “not hot”. You can find designs that will set the mood as high as any silk thong.

Herbal Tea

If you really, really want to make sure, you can rinse your vagina with mint tea once a week. It’s a classic “grandma’s advice” and has worked for generations – it will work for you too. It’s cheap and easy to do – and will really help your vagina smell and taste as good as possible.

You Taste Like the Food You Eat

What you eat will affect how you taste when he goes down on you. A great idea is pineapple juice – but any other fruits are good for your smell and taste down there. Drink lots of water and stay away from alcohol – asparagus, fish, crabs and spicy food will make you smell funny. Medications can also cause a bad “scent”. A mixture of milk almonds, milk and honey can make you taste sweet.

Let the Games Begin

Now that you did everything possible to taste good, you can spice it up. If you’re playing, play good. Use whipped cream or chocolate in the bedroom – be his favourite cake and let him go down on you. Don’t be ashamed – after all of the above, there is no way you don’t taste like a candy.

Play, have fun – and return the favour!

If your man does these 5 things, you are being manipulated!

     The worst part of being manipulated in a relationship is that quite often you don’t even know it’s happening. Manipulative people twist your thoughts, actions, wants and desires into something that better suits how they see the world and they mold you into someone that serves their own purposes. Scary, right? 

Here’s a few biggies to look out for to make sure it’s not happening to you:

1. He makes you feel guilty … for everything.

Manipulation always start with guilt. If he can convince you to feel guilty for your actions (even when you’ve done nothing wrong), then he knows you’ll be more willing to do what he says. “I mean sure, I guess dinner was OK. It wasn’t what I was hoping for and I would have rather done something different but I guess as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. I love you and it’s important to me that you are happy, even if that means setting aside what I want.”  See what he did there? How he turned that around you? On the surface, he makes it seem like he’s a loving boyfriend but spoiler alert: guilt is not love. Manipulators also try and make you believe that they’re doing a better job of “loving you,” so that you’ll be more willing to set aside what you want in order to feel like you “love him just as much.” It’s a sick mind game.

2. He forces his insecurities on you.

Manipulators will often force their own insecurities on you in an effort to control how you react towards him. “I’ve been cheated on before and that’s why I don’t want you to have any male friend. You can understand that, right?” Yes, of course you can understand that (and you should be conscious of his insecurities), but his struggles should not define the functionality of your relationship. “I’m sorry I acted that way but I’m just so scared that you will leave me!” is an excuse that’s often used by manipulators when you point out flaws in his actions. The sheer purpose of that excuse is to take the focus off of your worries and suck you back into this.

There’s a fine line between showing consideration for his feelings and being manipulated into feeling what he wants you to feel. Consideration is shown with love while manipulation is ruled by guilt.

3. He makes you doubt yourself.

Want to know why it’s so easy for him to be manipulated? Because he has mind-f*cked you to the point where you no longer trust yourself. That’s right, manipulators take your insecurities and use them against you. They consistently point out what you’re doing “wrong” and how they could have done it better. They point out your weaknesses, then show you that with their help, you can do better, be better. They slowly convince you they have your best interests in mind … but they don’t. They have their best interests in mind. And in order to keep their wants and needs at the forefront of your relationship, they gently twist your thinking until you look to him for guidance on everything. Once that happens, manipulators can make you basically do whatever they want you to because you now trust them more than you trust yourself.

4. He makes you responsible for his own emotions.

Manipulators are ironic in the sense that they spend quite a bit of time making you feel as if you can’t think for yourself but then turn around and make you responsible for all of their emotions. If they feel sad, it’s probably because you made them feel that way. If they’re angry, well, you had better check yourself because you obviously did something wrong. For as much as they take away from you and for as much as they make you believe that you’re totally incapable of controlling your own life, they expect you to be responsible for how they feel. INSANE!!

5. He makes you believe that you want what he wants.

We all start out relationships with requirements and deal-breaksers but it’s natural, as you start to blend two lives, that compromises are made. What’s NOT normal: When you have to completely set aside what you want and need in an effort to appease your partner. If you start to realize your partner’s needs are being met far more often than yours are, you might be married to a manipulator. Are you giving in to what he wants out of feelings of guilt or because he has made you feel responsible for the way he feels? Have you given up what YOU want because he’s made you believe that you should want something else? If you have answered “yes” to any of those questions, you might want to reconsider the relationship.

Need I say more??

5 reasons your best friend will make a perfect boyfriend

There’s nothing quite like feeling a spark of attraction between you and someone you just met, but lately, I have been wondering whether it’s better to date a friend, or at least somebody we have known longer than just a couple of weeks, and who knows more about us than just our name and phone number.

Sure, the transition from friend-to-boyfriend might feel a little weird at first, but I think that the benefits of dating one might just overrule the awkwardness.

1. He’s familiar with your bad side.
Let’s face it, during the first few months of dating someone new, it’s easy to hold yourself together and pretend like you don’t have a dark side (everybody has one). You downplay your insecurities in hope that he won’t see you as clingy, and you supress the fact that you occasionally get moody, jealous, or pointlessly angry. As a friend, he will not only be aware of your personal weaknesses, but he will know how to respond to them in a way that is constructive to the relationship and to your desire to improve yourself.

On that same note, you’ll be aware of his bad fashion sense, his corny jokes, and his strange fondness for period pieces before you start dating him. Heck, you might even love him all the more for the quirks you would find annoying in anybody else.

2. You’re more or less aware of each other’s relationship history.
Chances are, you’ll feel less self-conscious about the number of guys in your past if your boyfriend already knows about them before deciding to date you. Even better, you’ll probably have an inkling of an idea about why his past relationships didn’t work out. That way, both of you will have a sense of each other’s relationships styles and issues and will be better prepared to deal with potential conflicts.

3. You’re comfortable with each other.
It takes a few weeks (if not longer) to feel completely at ease with somebody new. Should you eat ice cream from the container in front of him? Should you reveal that you’re a twenty something who still rereads Harry Potter on occasion? Or you are in your late thirties and still watch cartoons. When dating someone who started out as a friend, you can skip the neurotic “I need to impress him” phase and go straight to wearing no makeup and nerding out together on weekends spent indoors.

4. It’s exciting.
Dating a friend might seem less glamorous than falling in love at first sight, but what’s more suspenseful than decoding a friend’s flirty mixed signals for signs of romantic intentions? If the relationship goes well, you’ll be swept away at how a good friend turned out to be an even better boyfriend. Trust me, you’ll swear off the random guys you meet during happy hour forever!

5. There’s always something to talk about.
We have all dated someone with whom we spent more time getting hot-and-heavy than in actual conversation. The moment of truth inevitably arrives during a long car ride, when you have no choice but to put on the radio because the two of you have no common interests. Aren’t you ready for someone who still makes for good company even after the passion starts to plateau? Plus, just imagine the energy that you and a friend-turned-boyfriend will share after months (even years!) of pent-up romantic tension.

6 signs that shows you are the “rebound” girl or guy..

Read this, and if you see any of these things, run! Are you dating someone fresh out of a long term relationship, and you’re worried about being the rebound girl or guy?There are a few tell tale signs that may indicate your new relationship is using you to heal a wound.

1. The ex is still in the picture.

Even though the breakup was not long ago neither of them have changed their Facebook status to “single.” He continues to obsess over the ex’s Facebook updates, what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with.

He still has pictures of his Ex around his house, on his phone and he’s not “up” to removing them. The ex still talks to him and comes around for any reason.

2. Her friends are shocked she’s dating.

If everyone is shocked at the fact your new relationship partner is already up to dating then you should step back and think about what’s going on. They know her better than you do.

Sometimes people from the outside looking in have a better view because they’re not emotionally involved.

3. It is all about the physical relationship.

Most rebound relationships are all about sex and have very little emotional substance.

4. He won’t talk about serious issues.

When you try to get serious and talk about deep emotional subjects and he steers away,  beware! He knows he’s only interested in a short-term fix for a broken heart.

5. She won’t commit.

If she shows no sign of commiting to anything in the future with you — even a week or longer out — odds are she’s just using you to get reaquainted with the single life.

6. He talks about his ex — and, man, is he bitter.

Does your new date talk about his ex all the time? Does he always find a way to always fit her into any conversation? Does he still seem very upset about the end of his last relationship and hold all woman in a bad light (because of her). These are signs that he’s not healed.

If these scenarios sound familiar you may want to think very seriously about getting involved with this person at this time. He or she are definitely not over their last relationship and will have a difficult time opening up to feel anything for anyone else until they do.

14 things you may not know about orgasms

Orgasms: sometimes reaching one seems as complicated as reaching the magical land through the closet in “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”—the tiniest wrong turn, or speed, and you just won’t get there. But, they aren’t all scary: there are some really great facts about the big O! Plus some comforting ones. Here’s what I learned from WomansDay.com

YOU NEED TO TENSE UP TO ORGASM

Contrary to the popular relief that you need to relax or go limp to orgasm, your likelihood of reaching orgasm increases when you tense up. Doing a Kegel (imitating the contraction you would do if you were trying to hold in urine) sends blood flow to your vaginal area, which helps with arousal.

THEY CAN REPLACE YOUR ADVIL

Because having an orgasm releases oxytocin—a chemical that induces feelings of relaxation, peace, safety and other positive feelings—they can briefly alleviate pain from everything like a headache to arthritis.

JUST THINKING OF AN ORGASM CAN RELIEVE PAIN

Research has shown that simply thinking about an orgasm—really thinking about it by closing your eyes, visualizing a partner and imagining the sensations—can relieve pain.

CONDOMS WON’T MINIMIZE YOUR ORGASM

Studies have found that women are just as likely to reach orgasm with or without a condom. In fact, some scientists speculate condoms may help a woman’s chances of reaching orgasm: since the man doesn’t need to worry about ejaculating too early and needing to pull out, he might be able to last longer.

1 IN 3 WOMEN STRUGGLE TO ORGASM

Planned Parenthood reports that 1 in 3 women struggle to orgasm with a partner, and as high as 80% of women struggle to orgasm from intercourse alone. As a whole, female sexual dysfunction (which includes failure to orgasm) is experienced by 43% of women.

THERE ARE MEDICATIONS THAT CAN HELP YOU ORGASM

Eros, an FDA-approved device, helps blood flow to the genitals and can up a woman’s chances of orgasm. There are also over-the-counter creams that can increase sensitivity in the vaginal region.

THE ORIGINS OF THE “G-SPOT”

Many women believe the “G-spot” simply stands for the “Good spot” but in fact it is named after Ernst Gräfenberg, MD, a German gynecologist that discovered the region of female genitalia that contains a large cluster of nerve endings.

ORGASMS IMPROVE WITH AGE

If you’re getting depressed about wrinkles or the effect gravity is taking on your boobs, here’s one thing to cheer up about regarding getting older: your sex life might get better! Studies have shown that more women in their 40’s and 50’s experience regular orgasms than women in their 30’s. There is no scientific reasoning behind these findings, but it could be because with time comes experience and older women know how to direct their partner to help them orgasm more.

VARIETY CAN HELP YOU ORGASM

Women have reported having an easier time climaxing if they incorporate several sexual acts or positions into a romp session. For example, having your partner both manually please you and have intercourse with you will make it more likely that you’ll orgasm than just one or the other.

IF YOU LOVE YOUR VAGINA, YOU’RE MORE LIKELY TO ORGASM

There is a link between a woman’s sexual confidence and her likelihood of orgasm. If a woman feels insecure about the way her vagina looks, feels, smells, tastes—you name it—she’ll struggle to orgasm. Just know that there is no such thing as a “normal” vagina and they come in all shapes, colors and sizes.

MEN DON’T REALIZE HOW INFREQUENT YOUR ORGASMS ARE

One study had 84% of men reporting that they believed their partner orgasmed last time they had sex, but only 64% of women reported having actually orgasmed during their last session in the sack. So, communicate! A lot of men don’t know that they need to work harder.

THERE IS SUCH THING AS THE SPONTANEOUS ORGASM

You may have heard tales of women who orgasmed from riding a horse or getting a massage, and some of them may be true! Certain activities stimulate blood flow to the genitals and induce relaxation, two crucial components to reaching orgasm.

FOR THE MOST PART, MEN ORGASM FIRST

It’s normal that a woman takes much longer than her male partner to reach orgasm. In fact studies have found that most women need at least 20 minutes of sexual activity to reach orgasm.

YOU CAN DELAY YOUR GUY’S ORGASM

If premature ejaculation on your partner’s part is making it impossible for you to orgasm, there is a way to slow him down, without ruining the mood: try applying firm pressure around the base of his penis with your hand.

5 Ways To Win An Ex-Girlfriend Back..

Have you ever been completely in love with a woman, and then somehow, in some unimaginable way, you lost her? If you really want to reignite an old flame, you must know the right moves to make and the right time to make them. Here are 5 things you can do to maximize your chances.

1. Give her some space
In order to win your ex back, you need to show her a new side of you, or basically the “old you” she once fell in love with. The only way to do this is to give her some space to forget her current assessment of you, let her forget the things that impacted her decision to leave and wipe the slate clean. The amount of time needed will be based on the amount of time the two of you dated, while taking into consideration the events that transpired during the relationship.

2. Communicate with her
If you really want her back, you have to be the man and apologize for what went wrong. If she was hurt by you, she’ll want to stay away from you for fear of getting hurt again. So after some time has passed, man up and apologize in person for what you did to her. Be sincere and tell her you made a mistake. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry for everything.” Instead, apologize for whatever mistakes you made. She will appreciate this, and it will make you seem more self-aware and sincere. If she doesn’t accept your apology right away, she’s probably still working through what happened, but probably still appreciates your effort.

3. Show her how much you’ve changed
Just saying “I’m willing to change” won’t cut it. You’re ex should be able to see how much you’ve changed without you having to say it yourself. If she sees you “trying” or having some sort of agenda to get her back, you’re done! Did she complain that you never listened to her? Then be quiet and really listen to what she has to say. Subtly show her the new you, make the effort to cultivate your good qualities, suppress the bad ones, and show her that she’s worth the sacrifice.

4. Tell her how you feel and get the ball rolling
Once she can begin to see that you’re a different person and you start getting one foot back in the door, be honest and share your true feelings. If the relationship ended badly, she’s not going to ask you to start things up again, so you need to get your act together, open up and get the ball rolling. Pick a time when she’s not too busy and you can be alone and tell her that you can’t believe what an idiot you’ve been. Explain to her that she was the best thing that ever happened to you and that you really screwed up. Let her know that you would like to try again, and hopefully you’ll get the answer you were looking for.

5. Take her out and treat her right 
If you’re lucky enough to get a second chance, make the most of your time together and treat her right this time! Bring her flowers, take her to a nice place and turn up the romance that was probably missing before. If the date goes well, and if there are more dates to follow, look at it as starting fresh. Remind yourself what happened the last time and vow not to do it again if you really want to stay with this woman. You don’t have to rehash the old relationship, but work on building something completely new and much better.

While these are excellent tips, they are by no means foolproof. Some women think that once they dump you, it’s over and done with. So if she tells you that she’s ready to move on, just accept it, take the lessons that you’ve learned and move on.Meeting new women is a good option that will boost your confidence and could be the pathway to finding the right relationship for you.

- Mycin Justin