If your man does these 5 things, you are being manipulated!

     The worst part of being manipulated in a relationship is that quite often you don’t even know it’s happening. Manipulative people twist your thoughts, actions, wants and desires into something that better suits how they see the world and they mold you into someone that serves their own purposes. Scary, right? 

Here’s a few biggies to look out for to make sure it’s not happening to you:

1. He makes you feel guilty … for everything.

Manipulation always start with guilt. If he can convince you to feel guilty for your actions (even when you’ve done nothing wrong), then he knows you’ll be more willing to do what he says. “I mean sure, I guess dinner was OK. It wasn’t what I was hoping for and I would have rather done something different but I guess as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. I love you and it’s important to me that you are happy, even if that means setting aside what I want.”  See what he did there? How he turned that around you? On the surface, he makes it seem like he’s a loving boyfriend but spoiler alert: guilt is not love. Manipulators also try and make you believe that they’re doing a better job of “loving you,” so that you’ll be more willing to set aside what you want in order to feel like you “love him just as much.” It’s a sick mind game.

2. He forces his insecurities on you.

Manipulators will often force their own insecurities on you in an effort to control how you react towards him. “I’ve been cheated on before and that’s why I don’t want you to have any male friend. You can understand that, right?” Yes, of course you can understand that (and you should be conscious of his insecurities), but his struggles should not define the functionality of your relationship. “I’m sorry I acted that way but I’m just so scared that you will leave me!” is an excuse that’s often used by manipulators when you point out flaws in his actions. The sheer purpose of that excuse is to take the focus off of your worries and suck you back into this.

There’s a fine line between showing consideration for his feelings and being manipulated into feeling what he wants you to feel. Consideration is shown with love while manipulation is ruled by guilt.

3. He makes you doubt yourself.

Want to know why it’s so easy for him to be manipulated? Because he has mind-f*cked you to the point where you no longer trust yourself. That’s right, manipulators take your insecurities and use them against you. They consistently point out what you’re doing “wrong” and how they could have done it better. They point out your weaknesses, then show you that with their help, you can do better, be better. They slowly convince you they have your best interests in mind … but they don’t. They have their best interests in mind. And in order to keep their wants and needs at the forefront of your relationship, they gently twist your thinking until you look to him for guidance on everything. Once that happens, manipulators can make you basically do whatever they want you to because you now trust them more than you trust yourself.

4. He makes you responsible for his own emotions.

Manipulators are ironic in the sense that they spend quite a bit of time making you feel as if you can’t think for yourself but then turn around and make you responsible for all of their emotions. If they feel sad, it’s probably because you made them feel that way. If they’re angry, well, you had better check yourself because you obviously did something wrong. For as much as they take away from you and for as much as they make you believe that you’re totally incapable of controlling your own life, they expect you to be responsible for how they feel. INSANE!!

5. He makes you believe that you want what he wants.

We all start out relationships with requirements and deal-breaksers but it’s natural, as you start to blend two lives, that compromises are made. What’s NOT normal: When you have to completely set aside what you want and need in an effort to appease your partner. If you start to realize your partner’s needs are being met far more often than yours are, you might be married to a manipulator. Are you giving in to what he wants out of feelings of guilt or because he has made you feel responsible for the way he feels? Have you given up what YOU want because he’s made you believe that you should want something else? If you have answered “yes” to any of those questions, you might want to reconsider the relationship.

Need I say more??

5 reasons your best friend will make a perfect boyfriend

There’s nothing quite like feeling a spark of attraction between you and someone you just met, but lately, I have been wondering whether it’s better to date a friend, or at least somebody we have known longer than just a couple of weeks, and who knows more about us than just our name and phone number.

Sure, the transition from friend-to-boyfriend might feel a little weird at first, but I think that the benefits of dating one might just overrule the awkwardness.

1. He’s familiar with your bad side.
Let’s face it, during the first few months of dating someone new, it’s easy to hold yourself together and pretend like you don’t have a dark side (everybody has one). You downplay your insecurities in hope that he won’t see you as clingy, and you supress the fact that you occasionally get moody, jealous, or pointlessly angry. As a friend, he will not only be aware of your personal weaknesses, but he will know how to respond to them in a way that is constructive to the relationship and to your desire to improve yourself.

On that same note, you’ll be aware of his bad fashion sense, his corny jokes, and his strange fondness for period pieces before you start dating him. Heck, you might even love him all the more for the quirks you would find annoying in anybody else.

2. You’re more or less aware of each other’s relationship history.
Chances are, you’ll feel less self-conscious about the number of guys in your past if your boyfriend already knows about them before deciding to date you. Even better, you’ll probably have an inkling of an idea about why his past relationships didn’t work out. That way, both of you will have a sense of each other’s relationships styles and issues and will be better prepared to deal with potential conflicts.

3. You’re comfortable with each other.
It takes a few weeks (if not longer) to feel completely at ease with somebody new. Should you eat ice cream from the container in front of him? Should you reveal that you’re a twenty something who still rereads Harry Potter on occasion? Or you are in your late thirties and still watch cartoons. When dating someone who started out as a friend, you can skip the neurotic “I need to impress him” phase and go straight to wearing no makeup and nerding out together on weekends spent indoors.

4. It’s exciting.
Dating a friend might seem less glamorous than falling in love at first sight, but what’s more suspenseful than decoding a friend’s flirty mixed signals for signs of romantic intentions? If the relationship goes well, you’ll be swept away at how a good friend turned out to be an even better boyfriend. Trust me, you’ll swear off the random guys you meet during happy hour forever!

5. There’s always something to talk about.
We have all dated someone with whom we spent more time getting hot-and-heavy than in actual conversation. The moment of truth inevitably arrives during a long car ride, when you have no choice but to put on the radio because the two of you have no common interests. Aren’t you ready for someone who still makes for good company even after the passion starts to plateau? Plus, just imagine the energy that you and a friend-turned-boyfriend will share after months (even years!) of pent-up romantic tension.

6 signs that shows you are the “rebound” girl or guy..

Read this, and if you see any of these things, run! Are you dating someone fresh out of a long term relationship, and you’re worried about being the rebound girl or guy?There are a few tell tale signs that may indicate your new relationship is using you to heal a wound.

1. The ex is still in the picture.

Even though the breakup was not long ago neither of them have changed their Facebook status to “single.” He continues to obsess over the ex’s Facebook updates, what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with.

He still has pictures of his Ex around his house, on his phone and he’s not “up” to removing them. The ex still talks to him and comes around for any reason.

2. Her friends are shocked she’s dating.

If everyone is shocked at the fact your new relationship partner is already up to dating then you should step back and think about what’s going on. They know her better than you do.

Sometimes people from the outside looking in have a better view because they’re not emotionally involved.

3. It is all about the physical relationship.

Most rebound relationships are all about sex and have very little emotional substance.

4. He won’t talk about serious issues.

When you try to get serious and talk about deep emotional subjects and he steers away,  beware! He knows he’s only interested in a short-term fix for a broken heart.

5. She won’t commit.

If she shows no sign of commiting to anything in the future with you — even a week or longer out — odds are she’s just using you to get reaquainted with the single life.

6. He talks about his ex — and, man, is he bitter.

Does your new date talk about his ex all the time? Does he always find a way to always fit her into any conversation? Does he still seem very upset about the end of his last relationship and hold all woman in a bad light (because of her). These are signs that he’s not healed.

If these scenarios sound familiar you may want to think very seriously about getting involved with this person at this time. He or she are definitely not over their last relationship and will have a difficult time opening up to feel anything for anyone else until they do.

14 things you may not know about orgasms

Orgasms: sometimes reaching one seems as complicated as reaching the magical land through the closet in “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”—the tiniest wrong turn, or speed, and you just won’t get there. But, they aren’t all scary: there are some really great facts about the big O! Plus some comforting ones. Here’s what I learned from WomansDay.com

YOU NEED TO TENSE UP TO ORGASM

Contrary to the popular relief that you need to relax or go limp to orgasm, your likelihood of reaching orgasm increases when you tense up. Doing a Kegel (imitating the contraction you would do if you were trying to hold in urine) sends blood flow to your vaginal area, which helps with arousal.

THEY CAN REPLACE YOUR ADVIL

Because having an orgasm releases oxytocin—a chemical that induces feelings of relaxation, peace, safety and other positive feelings—they can briefly alleviate pain from everything like a headache to arthritis.

JUST THINKING OF AN ORGASM CAN RELIEVE PAIN

Research has shown that simply thinking about an orgasm—really thinking about it by closing your eyes, visualizing a partner and imagining the sensations—can relieve pain.

CONDOMS WON’T MINIMIZE YOUR ORGASM

Studies have found that women are just as likely to reach orgasm with or without a condom. In fact, some scientists speculate condoms may help a woman’s chances of reaching orgasm: since the man doesn’t need to worry about ejaculating too early and needing to pull out, he might be able to last longer.

1 IN 3 WOMEN STRUGGLE TO ORGASM

Planned Parenthood reports that 1 in 3 women struggle to orgasm with a partner, and as high as 80% of women struggle to orgasm from intercourse alone. As a whole, female sexual dysfunction (which includes failure to orgasm) is experienced by 43% of women.

THERE ARE MEDICATIONS THAT CAN HELP YOU ORGASM

Eros, an FDA-approved device, helps blood flow to the genitals and can up a woman’s chances of orgasm. There are also over-the-counter creams that can increase sensitivity in the vaginal region.

THE ORIGINS OF THE “G-SPOT”

Many women believe the “G-spot” simply stands for the “Good spot” but in fact it is named after Ernst Gräfenberg, MD, a German gynecologist that discovered the region of female genitalia that contains a large cluster of nerve endings.

ORGASMS IMPROVE WITH AGE

If you’re getting depressed about wrinkles or the effect gravity is taking on your boobs, here’s one thing to cheer up about regarding getting older: your sex life might get better! Studies have shown that more women in their 40’s and 50’s experience regular orgasms than women in their 30’s. There is no scientific reasoning behind these findings, but it could be because with time comes experience and older women know how to direct their partner to help them orgasm more.

VARIETY CAN HELP YOU ORGASM

Women have reported having an easier time climaxing if they incorporate several sexual acts or positions into a romp session. For example, having your partner both manually please you and have intercourse with you will make it more likely that you’ll orgasm than just one or the other.

IF YOU LOVE YOUR VAGINA, YOU’RE MORE LIKELY TO ORGASM

There is a link between a woman’s sexual confidence and her likelihood of orgasm. If a woman feels insecure about the way her vagina looks, feels, smells, tastes—you name it—she’ll struggle to orgasm. Just know that there is no such thing as a “normal” vagina and they come in all shapes, colors and sizes.

MEN DON’T REALIZE HOW INFREQUENT YOUR ORGASMS ARE

One study had 84% of men reporting that they believed their partner orgasmed last time they had sex, but only 64% of women reported having actually orgasmed during their last session in the sack. So, communicate! A lot of men don’t know that they need to work harder.

THERE IS SUCH THING AS THE SPONTANEOUS ORGASM

You may have heard tales of women who orgasmed from riding a horse or getting a massage, and some of them may be true! Certain activities stimulate blood flow to the genitals and induce relaxation, two crucial components to reaching orgasm.

FOR THE MOST PART, MEN ORGASM FIRST

It’s normal that a woman takes much longer than her male partner to reach orgasm. In fact studies have found that most women need at least 20 minutes of sexual activity to reach orgasm.

YOU CAN DELAY YOUR GUY’S ORGASM

If premature ejaculation on your partner’s part is making it impossible for you to orgasm, there is a way to slow him down, without ruining the mood: try applying firm pressure around the base of his penis with your hand.

5 Ways To Win An Ex-Girlfriend Back..

Have you ever been completely in love with a woman, and then somehow, in some unimaginable way, you lost her? If you really want to reignite an old flame, you must know the right moves to make and the right time to make them. Here are 5 things you can do to maximize your chances.

1. Give her some space
In order to win your ex back, you need to show her a new side of you, or basically the “old you” she once fell in love with. The only way to do this is to give her some space to forget her current assessment of you, let her forget the things that impacted her decision to leave and wipe the slate clean. The amount of time needed will be based on the amount of time the two of you dated, while taking into consideration the events that transpired during the relationship.

2. Communicate with her
If you really want her back, you have to be the man and apologize for what went wrong. If she was hurt by you, she’ll want to stay away from you for fear of getting hurt again. So after some time has passed, man up and apologize in person for what you did to her. Be sincere and tell her you made a mistake. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry for everything.” Instead, apologize for whatever mistakes you made. She will appreciate this, and it will make you seem more self-aware and sincere. If she doesn’t accept your apology right away, she’s probably still working through what happened, but probably still appreciates your effort.

3. Show her how much you’ve changed
Just saying “I’m willing to change” won’t cut it. You’re ex should be able to see how much you’ve changed without you having to say it yourself. If she sees you “trying” or having some sort of agenda to get her back, you’re done! Did she complain that you never listened to her? Then be quiet and really listen to what she has to say. Subtly show her the new you, make the effort to cultivate your good qualities, suppress the bad ones, and show her that she’s worth the sacrifice.

4. Tell her how you feel and get the ball rolling
Once she can begin to see that you’re a different person and you start getting one foot back in the door, be honest and share your true feelings. If the relationship ended badly, she’s not going to ask you to start things up again, so you need to get your act together, open up and get the ball rolling. Pick a time when she’s not too busy and you can be alone and tell her that you can’t believe what an idiot you’ve been. Explain to her that she was the best thing that ever happened to you and that you really screwed up. Let her know that you would like to try again, and hopefully you’ll get the answer you were looking for.

5. Take her out and treat her right 
If you’re lucky enough to get a second chance, make the most of your time together and treat her right this time! Bring her flowers, take her to a nice place and turn up the romance that was probably missing before. If the date goes well, and if there are more dates to follow, look at it as starting fresh. Remind yourself what happened the last time and vow not to do it again if you really want to stay with this woman. You don’t have to rehash the old relationship, but work on building something completely new and much better.

While these are excellent tips, they are by no means foolproof. Some women think that once they dump you, it’s over and done with. So if she tells you that she’s ready to move on, just accept it, take the lessons that you’ve learned and move on.Meeting new women is a good option that will boost your confidence and could be the pathway to finding the right relationship for you.

- Mycin Justin